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Seven Things Men find it Romantic this Valentine Season..

choppy — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 06:06:06 +0000

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Men aren’t supposed to like romance, right? Well, that’s the theory, anyway. In practice, men may not always like to call it romance, but we feel the same yearning to connect that you do, to give and receive physical expressions of love and to continue the rituals of courtship. In short, we want to romance you… and we secretly want you to romance us. The flowery stuff, the roses, and candlelight, just isn’t a guy thing. So skip the sweet little trappings and go for what’s guaranteed to work.

More Dating Articles from Redbook:

Would You Know If Your Man Cheated?

Five Things Super Happy Couples Do Every Day

#1. Dress Up for Him

“Consider dressing for his tastes and not just yours once in a while,” says Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., author of “Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know.” “Take him shopping and have him choose outfits he would like to see you in.”

Remember, you’re doing this for him, not for you. And, as psychologist Ronald Goldstein, Ph.D., a marriage counselor in Newtown, Pennsylvania, explains: “Women should keep in mind that men are visually oriented.” Trust me, men find it very romantic when you step wholeheartedly into our debauched little fantasy worlds. If we’re hard-wired to be turned on by visual cues, why not indulge us — and use it to your advantage?

#2. Initiate Physical Affection

Whether you’re playing footsie under the table or placing a hand on our shoulders while scooting behind our chairs, men find the touch of the woman they love unbelievably reassuring. In our treasured nonverbal language, it translates as: “I accept you… I love you… We’re a team.”

#3. Give Him a Night Out with the Boys — No Strings Attached

It may seem odd to you that a romantic gesture might not involve you at all. But dogs run with dogs, wolves run with wolves, and every so often, guys just have to break away and run with the guys (drooling and howling optional).

#4. Tell Him What a Big, Strong Guy He Is

We men are famously incompetent at expressing ourselves verbally… but that doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate hearing a little praise now and then. In particular, we draw a lot of our identity from our maleness. Nurturing our big-ape fantasies — me Tarzan, you Jane — lets us know you value us as males, which is somehow important to the continued production of testosterone.

A quick insight into men: We all want to be heroes. Remembering to compliment your mate on being a great partner isn’t always easy in the middle of a busy day, but it’s a quick shortcut to making him feel wanted, needed, and loved, which is of course the ultimate point of any romantic gesture. And this positive reinforcement of your mate’s good behavior will yield big dividends later, as he subconsciously tries to live up to your glowing appraisal.

#5. Score Him a Pair of Tickets to the Big Game

Which would you rather receive from your mate: a weekend at a spa or a new set of cookware? The spa is by far the more romantic gift, if only because he doesn’t stand to gain anything from it. Gifts that don’t benefit the giver are somehow purer because they demonstrate you care only about making your partner happy. So when you’re thinking about gifts, try not to think about what you’d like to get him, but what he’d like to receive.

#6. Show Interest in His Outside Life

We live in a fast-paced world, and we all know it’s easy enough to get wrapped up in our own routines. But finding ways to let a man know you care about all aspects of his life, not just the parts he shares with you, is a great way to show you love the whole man. Shoot him a few well-directed questions about work to help him unwind, surprise him with a book relating to a hobby, track down a website that deals with some problem he’s having — all are touching gestures I guarantee will be well received.

#7. Tell Him a Secret

Men want to be soul mates, too. Telling him a secret — symbolically letting him deeper inside you — demonstrates total trust in him and faith in your relationship. Because you’re making yourself vulnerable, it’s an incredible bonding experience. What works just as well: Encourage him to tell you a secret or two. And don’t laugh.

“ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE!!!”

choppy — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 23:31:26 +0000

ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE

A few things I’ve learned. Enjoy…….

I’ve learned…. That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an
elderly person.

I’ve learned…. That when you’re in love, it shows.
I’ve learned…. That just one person saying to me, "You’ve made my day!" makes my day.

I’ve learned…. That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I”ve learned…. That being kind is more important than being right.
I’ve learned…. That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I’ve learned…. That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to
help him in some other way.

I’ve learned…. That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone
needs a friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned…. That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to
understand.

I’ve learned…. That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights
when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned…. That life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I’ve learned…. That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned…. That money doesn’t buy class.
I’ve learned…. That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned… That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I’ve learned…. That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I’ve learned…. That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I’ve learned…. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting
that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned…. That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I’ve learned…. That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself
with people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned…. That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned…. That there’s nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and
feeling their breath on your cheeks.

I’ve learned…. That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned…. That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
I’ve learned…. That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned…. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned…. That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.

I’ve learned…. That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because
tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned…. That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned…. That I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I’ve learned…. That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little
fist, that you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned…. That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the
happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned … That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is
requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

I’ve learned…. That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

To all of you…. Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.

Show your friends how much you care.
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to
the person who sent it to you. If it comes back to you, then you’ll know you have a
circle of friends.